Asking for help in these times of gigantic giving has become stigmatized. We as a world are beautifully focused on giving of ourselves in ways that are unprecedented, yet we have growing populations of people stuck in the cycle of depression, addiction and failure and are unable to see beyond it.
The numbers of suicide attempts is up and more alarmingly so are the successes. Additionally obesity, alcoholism, substance abuse, gambling, sexual addiction, and over spending are all on the rise. According to a recent study, more people admit to suicidal thoughts than ever before. More people are desperate beyond measure and yet cannot find it within themselves to seek the right help.
One woman interviewed told me how a friend, while visiting her in the hospital after her suicide attempt, said that he seen this coming. Staggering...what had he seen? Why had he not acted??
Herein lies the challenge. When interviewing the family and friends of people caught in the cycle of depression and/or addiction, helpless is the word that comes to mind. Does the person want help? Do they want out of the cycle? What can I do?
Our ability to ask for help in times of stress is diminished because of sense of self has been depleted. I was recently sharing my bout with a neurological illness and suicidal depression and my friend said, "I did not realize your were ill, I just thought you were drinking too much."
I felt shocked in that moment. Judged, misunderstood, ashamed. I knew this person cared about me and yet in this chasm of ignorance, my life, my value had been minimized.
Are you struggling with asking for help? I still do sometimes, and yet I know at a very deep level, my life does matter. I reach out and ask. I reach out and give. I allow the cycle to flow back and forth and some how I finally see the beautiful life I have.
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