Spiritual Olympics: Embracing Pain as a Teacher. Goodbye Shame!

If we could embrace pain as a teacher, we would give our hearts an Einstein like genius. - Bernie Beaumont

My life is unfolding with magical magnificence, yet I feel fear, confusion, and even shame sometimes. Old habit, old beliefs...old pains...

Opportunities have been presenting themselves and I find myself circling the actions that are necessary to bring dreams to life.

Old beliefs can hold me back or I can recreate my beliefs so I may serve God's purpose for me. As I explore these old how these old beliefs came to be, I see people and circumstances weaving together to help me learn and move forward to recreate anew. 

Each time I find myself in a pickle...that is a situation that is asking me to change, I have the choice to stay or be made anew. I can be willing to feel the feelings, explore, honor and learn, OR I can run. Today I choose not to run. Today I choose my courage to face truths and know that I have the capacity to be evolved through God's grace.

For so many years I was ashamed of myself and how I choose to live my life. I was obese and stuck in my eating disorder. I abused myself and allowed others to do so as well. I allowed my low self esteem to tell me lies that I believed. And worst of all I allowed the gifts and skills that God gave me to lay fallow. 

God is calling me out BIG time. I have been in the spiritual Olympics these past few years and know that the training camp that I have been so bless with is calling me to the big ice. I know that as the opportunities to bring the concepts of giving and receiving help to the world. I am being asked to live what I speak. 

The past several months I have learned so much about my own strength as well as the power of love. The vastness of love is expansive in the face of pain. It's power is tenfold when we open ourselves to it. When I am able to rest into prayer and meditation I feel God's unconditional love.

Today I am no longer shameful. Today I face my quirks and evolve myself. Today I create a world of love and hope by stepping beyond the fear and old hurts. Today I am JOY. Today I am proud of the woman I have worked so hard to become. Today I skip, knowing I am free from fear because today I love myself and accept love of God and all those he puts on my path!

Transparency: Being open with what we have overcome.

Each of us has lived through hard, crazy and often unbelievable experiences. Those times in our lives that when you look back you just shake your head thinking, 'Did I really live through that?"

Last night I was at a business function and a colleague, who is successful and one of the most giving people I know...spoke how hard it was for her to reveal her trials and tribulations to others. How she just suffers through, alone.

I walked away thinking, how important my work is, to help others go through things together.

This morning I posted a prayer request for a friend living through a foreclosure. Many friends chimed in with support, but the most meaningful one, was an individual willing to expose herself and say she had lived through it too. She shared her lesson of "When you lose everything of monetary value, that is when you realize just how much God values you simply for being you. " WOW

A jewel of wisdom was allowed to shine bright because the courage of one person to share with honesty and compassion for their own journey.

I am humbled by unbounded faith in the willingness to reach out beyond ourselves to find connection to God and ourselves.

"I feel ashamed to ask for help."

I recently interviewed several people who have attempted suicide and heard this exact phrase from each of them. I guess I was moved so much because I said those same words myself. Have you?

Asking for help in these times of gigantic giving has become stigmatized.  We as a world are beautifully focused on giving of ourselves in ways that are unprecedented, yet we have growing populations of people stuck in the cycle of depression, addiction and failure and are unable to see beyond it.

The numbers of suicide attempts is up and more alarmingly so are the successes. Additionally obesity, alcoholism, substance abuse, gambling, sexual addiction, and over spending are all on the rise. According to a recent study, more people admit to suicidal thoughts than ever before. More people are desperate beyond measure and yet cannot find it within themselves to seek the right help.

One woman interviewed told me how a friend, while visiting her in the hospital after her suicide attempt, said that he seen this coming. Staggering...what had he seen? Why had he not acted??

Herein lies the challenge. When interviewing the family and friends of people caught in the cycle of depression and/or addiction, helpless is the word that comes to mind. Does the person want help? Do they want out of the cycle? What can I do?

Our ability to ask for help in times of stress is diminished because of sense of self has been depleted. I was recently sharing my bout with a neurological illness and suicidal depression and my friend said, "I did not realize your were ill, I just thought you were drinking too much."

I felt shocked in that moment. Judged, misunderstood, ashamed. I knew this person cared about me and yet in this chasm of ignorance, my life, my value had been minimized.

Are you struggling with asking for help? I still do sometimes, and yet I know at a very deep level, my life does matter. I reach out and ask. I reach out and give. I allow the cycle to flow back and forth and some how I finally see the beautiful life I have.

The cost of following a dream...

Several years ago when I left Citibank to pursue my dream of helping others create meaningful creative lives a friend gave me The Alchemist.

It is the story of what it might cost to pursue a dream...asks you what are you willing to scarifice...endure.

These past years I have put everything I have on the line to bring the message of Who's Helping Who? to the world. Many would say that I am too brave...took too much risk, was unaware of the discomfort of those around me as they watched me endure difficulty.

Yesterday a friend who came to the gallery talk asked me why the work is so important, why I was willing to risk it all.

My response was simple. I want everyone to know they matter!! That they are worthy of receiving love, that they are capable of giving love.

I am willing to do all that I can to allow this to happen.

Recently a dear friend asked a spiritual channel about the work we are doing with Who's Helping Who? Her response looked at the work as a movement that is needed within this world. I have heard the word movement several times in relationship to the work. Each and every time I am moved to tears, knowing God is calling me to be brave, to step outside my self and open myself to serve a greater cause.

I gotta tell ya...this is HARD! I am willing clearly, yet there are the days, bill collectors call, something breaks, I need to go food shopping and I am humbled.

I know I am on the right path, and also know I am being strengthened with each step...to serve in a greater way.

What are you willing to step into? What are you willing to risk something for??

Being the change or standing against them...

This morning I had a particularly interesting client call. My client works for a big organization that is focused on growing. As a result, many elements of the way they do business are changing. Many people including them feeling victimized and stressed to do all that needs to be done to sustain the business and grow it.

We are all often caught up in changes that we have a hard time supporting, yet know at some level we need to be able to understand the changes, so we may decide to be part of them or not.

Fascinating topic: Being the change or standing against them...

The conversation this morning focused on how far are we willing to go to keep a job. What are the beliefs that we forsake because we believe our voice has no power?

As we move through the world each day, how we decide what change to stand for or against?

Do we support more? Do we support less??

In deciding what to stand for, I know personally, I have to look deep within my self to know when I choose to create.

Work harder, more money,  less time with family, self and God?

What is the balance. What is enough? What is possible?

Interested to hear what this brings up for you?

The Joy of Exchange!

An unbelievable amount of energy was exchanged at the opening on Friday evening. I felt so blessed to bear witness to people opening themselves.

I know that each and every person who added to the wall were giving part of themselves and opening themselves to receive.  It was quite beautiful!


During the evening a woman walked up to me in tears. When I asked why she was crying, she said, "Somehow you have managed to create a place where people are willing to open up! I am amazed and grateful." Needless to say I too was moved to tears of JOY. I have worked for four years to create this and knowing that I affected someone makes it all the more important to me.

Creating a space that allows us to exchange ideas, hopes and dreams is the essence intention for the installation. Opening ourselves to what we can give and what we need, cracks the door for conversations that are meaningful and important.

As I continue to document, I hope you enjoy baring witness to the amazing spirit of giving.

It takes a village, I'll Say!!

SO much love in this moment, Just a quick dispatch to say I have never been more happy in my life. I know that God is moving through me and all those around me...will post images tonight!!