Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Where I am...I am human!

It has been a long while since I felt called to share the deepest thoughts of my heart. Day to day I share small snippets and give you a peek into how my life is unfolding. Today, like other times I shall open the door a bit wider.

So many ideas are swirling around as topics for me to dive into. I sit here and breathe into God's divine guidance and know that it will reveal itself as I write.

The past week I lost a very dear friend to cancer. She impacted my spiritual journey in ways that are hard to put into words. Her legacy is one of selfless giving balanced with self love. She lived her life in a way that was guided by pure unconditional love and faith.

I attended her memorial service on Saturday afternoon. I was honored to bear witness to those who loved her and were loved by her, share the impact her love had on their lives and the world.

She would tell me about living life on life's terms. She showed me that if I was willing to show up to the truth, I was willing to be loved by God, by others and myself.

As I watched her family process the greatness of her life, I saw them rest into gratitude. Gratitude for knowing real love. I learned to love myself in a way that honors God's plan for me. I am taking care of  my spiritual self and my body in ways that are healthy and balanced. I am learning how to push myself and to nurture myself in a way that is compassionate and patient.

I witnessed my friend's husband cope with his grief. His love for her had taught me what love is. Today I am in a loving relationship that is centered on God. A relationship that is honest, open and gentle.We have two lives that are full of creativity and integrity. We hold each other to our highest selves, yet understand that we are human.  I learned this from their relationship.

Today I am in a job that calls me to be transparent, to be compassionate and to be myself. Her work life was resplendent with humility. She knew deeply that we are no greater or less than each other. She taught me that we are on the journey together, to hold each other to the highest ideals.

I sometimes feel scared, alone and even powerless. Today those are momentary thoughts that I move through with my faith. I let myself feel those feelings. learn from them and take the next right step.

Each and every day, I get to live a blessed life. I get to share my journey in a way that is transparent, honest and full of faith, knowing tat my life does matter and that my journey through the dark can inspire others to move through their dark days.

I ask that you be honest with me. Show me how I can better nurture our relationship, my relationship with the world and with God. I am open to learning and know that each and everyone of you who has chosen to read this is on my path for a reason. What do you need from me? What would you like to give me?

Blessings to all!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Outting myself...discussing the taboo...

...as a survivor of suicidal depression...

Making the decision to speak about this scary and taboo topic has brought many questions to my doorstep.

Are you talking about it now because you are still suicidal?

What do you think God thinks about it?

Why didn't you do it?

What stops you today?

What triggers the thoughts??

How come you do not know you are loved? Matter?

So many complicated thoughts, I shall try to tackle over the next days.

I kow there are more people out there thinking about suicide than we care to know, admit, and face.

I hope that by my honesty about how I face the situation, I may empower others to face their depression and inspire others to reach out to help.

Stay tuned.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Get Out of Jail Free!

Today I am freeing myself! Today I am alive by CHOICE!

I am starting a new project today with the local Character Counts organization. We are bringing character based  life skills training to the newly paroled.Talk about new beginnings. I am humbled by the opportunity to help others begin anew.

What a powerful opportunity to see and experience the place of choice. Many of us will never know what it is like to be behind bars. Many of us have. The walls of a the psyche ward were for me as powerful as bars. Last year I spent time on a psyche ward, after I spoke about wanting to kill myself.  I remember the first evening when friends came to visit and I was not allowed to leave. In this moment, I can feel the shame, the fear, the despair. I can choose to keep my self in those feelings OR NOT!

Today I get to help others see there IS a way to start fresh. It is by choosing to do things differently. It is about just taking the next right step. We all face situations that are hard, overwhelming and often paralyzing. Well today I am choosing to step forward, inch by inch. Step into something new, something that I am called to do and something I know will make a difference in this world.

I am no different than anyone else. We all have our fears. We are all able to choose. Today I choose Hope, Today I choose Self respect. Today I choose LOVE!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Where Can Fine Artists Receive Career Help?

I have supported creative teams my entire career. Be it designers, artists, photographers, writers, musicians, the creative process is a powerful force to be reckoned with.

In my experience the most powerful support one can give is helping a highly creative person is to help them create the right structures to feed their process. Most creative people are challenged to stay focused. ideas popping up are alluring and often mire down the individual and hence they are robbed from seeing ideas come to full bloom. Very often they are bored before the idea really has a chance to blossom.

Helping creatives break down ideas into achievable actions and helping them to understand their personal process, is, I believe the most affective way to help them create.

Perhaps they need advisors on some of the protocols of the world, they would be better served by a coach who is there to help them find their way instead of telling them what to do.

Most creatives when told what to do, will generally shut down and retreat creating inaction and hence no results. Creatives are innately free spirits and are best served when this is celebrated.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

When We Promise to Pray for a Friend, We Should Do It!

Many times when I am compelled to say, I shall pray for you, recently I have been asking. "May we pray, NOW?" It is an incredible thing to do it in the moment...It is fun to share time praying with people for them.

I also use a prayer reminder website, http://www.echoprayer.com/front/welcome.php

it works for me...
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Reversing the Secularization of Eating

Six years ago after loosing over 200 pounds I made a commitment to say grace before every meal I had no matter where I was. I committed to never taking food for granted and always remembering the blessing food is in my life. After doing it with myself for a while I was drawn to ask others to join me as well, eventually it became a practice that others counted on me for.

Saying grace helps me remember the sacredness of the food, the hands that brought it to the table and the connection I have to God because of it.

When I am in public with others, be them friends or acquaintances, I ask if I may say grace. In the 5 years of asking, I have never found a person who said no. Most often the people say thank you for helping them remember to do it.

I am honored and privileged to share grace with others and feel the presence of the divine as we pause with the blessings before us.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

Wednesday, September 8, 2010


Today I get to decide 
which structures will
refine and strengthen me
and which will set me free. fh

Personal discipline has brought a sense of pride and accomplishment to my life. Each time I decide to rest into a practice with consistency, I am blessed with results. Quite the miracle huh??

Most of my life I knew little about personal discipline, Meaning disciplines that would benefit me on a personal and spiritual level that is. I knew how to hold onto a job, stick to deadlines, yet a dedication to MY body and spirit eluded me.

I had no idea how to rest into structure, I never thought I could...when I realized I could with a little bit of help, I was then able to see I could even do it on my own. What a concept!

This morning's yoga was in the hallway of a nursing home. As I stood and did a quiet practice, I could feel my body finding it's center. My body was saying thank you for disciplining me. Thank you for believing I am worth the investment. Thank you for the results you have helped me feel. Thank you for tomorrow's practice, I know I can count on you!

Today I am free from the guilt of skipping out on myself and today I  stand knowing I am willing to be refined!